Short Story essay Analysis

I did my short story analysis on Margaret Atwood's short story Hairball. When I turned in my essay, the format of the essay was messed up in turnitin.com. As a result, my MLA format was complete destroyed, and it made my essay very hard to follow. That contributed quit a bit for my bad grade in the essay. Also, my transition words were very plain and quite weak. My essay also included some incorrect grammar. I lacked a few colons and commas at the correct place. My periods were not inside the quotations. Occasionally I did not use the present tense when I should have. I was often repetitive in my essay, which reduced the overall point of my essay. I basically said the same thing over and over again, which made me lose the direction of where the essay will head, and I could not think of anything new to add to the essay. I did not support my claims very well, so my essay severely lacked adequate support to make my points stronger. Also, my analysis were very short and were very plain and weak. My quotations were too long and not to the point. I could have included better vocabulary to improve my short story analysis. Also, I could have improved the essay by including better transition words. I could have improved my essay by double checking turnitin.com and making sure they did not ruin my MLA format. My grammar could have been improved for this essay to get a higher grade. More specifically I could have used commas and colons correctly and placed my periods inside the quotation marks. The short story analysis could have been improved by using present tense at the appropriate times instead of past tense. Furthermore, I could have been much less repetitive in my short story analysis to make my points more concise, clearer, and stronger. The essay could have included stronger transition words. My support in the body paragraphs could have been longer and stronger to make help prove my thesis. I could have made stronger connections between my points to not confuse my audience, which may have raised my grade. My essay included too much passive voice at times, and would have benefited greatly through increased use of active voice. I was not clear when portraying my logic, which made my short story analysis hard to read. Overall I think that my analysis of Margaret Atwood's short story Hairball could have been greatly improved through better grammar, analysis, and stronger support for my thesis.